Idiot Factor

These are instructions we have had to place on the wall at our vacation rental house at the beach. It is still amazing to me the things that people will do in a rental that they would never, ever do in thier own home.
It is like having to post a notice to not put explosives down the garbage disposal. We as landlords should not have to do this, but we do.
Our experiences reinforce my belief in the saying that, "Nothing is foolproof because fools are so ingenious."

This is now on the wall at the beach house:

Instructions for the Directionally Challenged

This is a crank used for opening and closing the venting windows above your head. The windows are never latched. Turning the crank counter-clockwise will open the window. Turning in the other direction, clockwise, will close the window.

Some people have tried to go in the wrong direction using all of their strength. We have speculated that these people may have even hooked the crank up to a very large electric motor or similar device to overcome the mechanics of the windows operating mechanisms because the internal gears have been stripped or forced into misalignment. This takes considerable force (F = ma). It also costs a tad of Dinero (money) to repair. Please do not do this. When the sun is beating in on an afternoon the room can really become quite warm and you will appreciate being able to open these windows.

Remember – Lefty loosey (open), Righty tighty, (closed). This is not too much to ask.

Thank you,

The Owners

Instrucciones para la carne de cabezas
(Instructions for the meat heads)

Se trata de una manivela de apertura y cierre de las ventanas de ventilación por encima de su cabeza. Las viudas no están trabados. Al girar la manivela hacia la izquierda se abrirá la ventana. De inflexión en la otra dirección, hacia la derecha, se cierra la ventana.

Algunas personas han tratado de ir en la dirección equivocada con toda su fuerza. Hemos especulado con que estas personas pueden incluso han enganchado a la manivela a un motor eléctrico de gran tamaño o un dispositivo similar para superar la mecánica de las ventanas de explotación debido a los mecanismos de los engranajes internos han sido despojadas o forzadas a una mala alineación. Esto toma mucha fuerza (F = ma). También cuesta un poco de Dinero (money) para reparar. Por favor, no hagas esto. Cuando el sol está jugando en una tarde en la sala de realidad puede llegar a ser bastante caliente y usted podrá apreciar la posibilidad de abrir estas ventanas.

Recuerde - afloja Lefty (abierto), Diestro whities, (cerrado). Esto no es mucho pedir.

Gracias,

Los propietarios

Another tenant instruction:

Storm Door Etiquette

The outside door is called a “Storm Door” because it helps to keep our wintertime sideways rains from being driven past the seals of the regular door that you see before you. A “regular door” facing south on the Oregon coast is pretty useless when it comes to separating you from the weather outside.

Please help keep this storm door properly latched.

We get some really big winds here on the coast, which are fairly often above a Category 1 Hurricane force in the winter time. Summer winds are no slouch either. The last time that the storm door was not closed properly, the wind ripped it, part of the frame and a little bit of siding out of the wall, tossed it through the outside deck glass and railing and down the hill a bit. This would have been spectacular to see in person and maybe shoot some video for YouTube®, but all I was privileged to see was the resulting wreckage – and the bill for the repairs.

Thank you for your help,

The Owners





Please ignore this posting. This door closes just fine all by itself.


Bill’s Handyman & Repair Service


997-3288